Searching and finding on the spiritual path is something very personal. Everyone has his own “history” about passing the Mystical Gate. A Rosicrucian from the Lectorium Rosicrucianum speaks about her own experiences.
My previous life had lost its meaning because something essential was broken. It had all started so promising. What had gone wrong? Where was the mistake? How could things go on now? What could a future life look like? Is there anything that is inviolable, absolute and permanent?
A great helplessness began to arise in which only the desire for something indefinite lasted. Thus, my search began.
Alongside with the normal daily life my inner compass pointed to different directions. New experiences were gained, new territories were entered, new people were met. Many things moved. And one day it came to an encounter with the Rosycross. Here, in the gnostic philosophy of the Rosycross, I found astonishing evidence of a state of being in which that searched seemed to exist. It was worth a detailed investigation. A thorough study of the literature of the School of the Rosycross followed and the initial presumption became more and more certain.
Trying again and again
Guided by an inner resonance and acceptance of what I had heard and read, the desire for realization became evident. How could I integrate those wonderful opportunities into my life? How should all this become reality my own life? An important decision seemed to be required: Entirely trusting the force field of the Rosycross and listening to the inner impulses.
A phase of trial began, from brooding to speculating, from research to doubt, from jubilation to contrition, all the stops of the inner ups and downs were pulled out. But instead of the long-desired peace in my own nature, I experienced a powerful storm. A big struggle seethed inside myself. My being seemed to be divided, sore and vulnerable. Nothing was in place. And the most disturbing thing was: There was no plausible explanation for these symptoms.
The entrance to another dimension
Finally, only one problem remained: to somehow endure and accept this inner conflict. Months passed by. And one day something unexpected happened. The inner turbulence abated, and for a moment it was suddenly very still inside. There was nothing any more: no idea, no feeling, nothing. Only silence. An immense silence. And this silence was untouchable, it was absolute. It had to be another dimension: inside my own beging and yet at the same time apart from everything that made up my own being.
This experience was so surprisingly, so new, so fleeting and yet so intense that its effect lasted for a long time. From now on, for me, was no doubt: This point of silence, this “space” was the key point, the real essential. I knew: This deserves all the priority in my life.
The Rosicrucians call this “space” the Rose of the heart. It is the spiritual spark that is inside man who must awaken it from its sleep of death. From the Rose will be revealed all that is necessary to achieve a new state of being. When this Rose awakes, it slowly gains strength and begins to speak to man’s consciousness. Then a wonderful connection between the Rose and the personality is formed, which makes appear life completely new.
A deep sense of gratitude and love spread through my being and I could enter the path of realization with strength and security.